;)
Want to keep your phone lines free for holiday greetings, not plagued by telemarketeers offering some "timely" holiday promotion? There are options.
First, the TeleZapper from Privacy Technologies. Simply plug the TeleZapper into any phone line in your house and "zap away telemarketers forever." The TeleZapper takes advantage of telemarketers' automatic dialling equipment and uses it against them by sending out a signal that lies and says your phone is disconnected. By "fooling" their auto dialler into recording your number as disconnected, it removes your name from the telemarketer’s calling list. Sales calls are virtually stopped altogether (4 noteworthy weeks and counting, none have come through on my business line) but all other calls get through trouble-free.
Alternately, you can have your name removed from most telemarketers' lists. It's a law and everything. In the USA, according to the TCPA and the Telemarketing Sales Rule, you can just snail mail your name, address and telephone number(s) to the Telephone Preference Service, c/o the Direct Marketing Association, P.O. Box 9014, Farmingdale, NY 11735-9014. Companies subscribing to this service receive a list of people who do not want to receive telemarketing calls and then remove these phone numbers from their "try-this-Schmoe" list.
In Canada it's even easier. You just log onto the Canadian Marketing Association's website and fill out a FREE online "screw-off" form that deletes your name and number from their "easy-pickin's" list.
Going that route, two telemarketers have made it through on my home line thus far -- the first of whom would appear to have my number committed to "speed dial" as some telesolicitor calls up on a monthly basis anyway, asking me how much I enjoy the local paper (I don't) and wouldn't I enjoy a new special offer that takes .05% off the newsstand price to which I reply with some scathing comment about the poor sot's ancestry and vague reference to the improbable mating habits of swamp dwelling marsupials a distant grandfather of suspect itelligence.
The second stymie-tactic-evading telemarketer is a different story altogether, which brings us to Option 3: Talk to them.
As it turns out, the other telepusher who made it through on my home line wanted me to talk about beer, which I was more than happy to do, as it's a subject of which I'm rather fond. It allowed me to vent long pent-up rants like Kokanee-is-a-tourist-beer, All-Molson-products-taste-the-same-after-two and I-used-to-own-stocks-in-Okanagan-Spring-until-they-sold-out-to-Sleemans-so-now-I-drink-their-beer-reluctantly-because-it-still-tastes-good-even-though-it's-technically-made-by-Sleemans. Also, the telemarketerette was really quite nice; doing the job reluctantly, knowing full well she was unwelcome on most phone lines, but trying to pay the rent and feed her two kids. Also also, it's fun to mess them up by giving them mildly erroneous personal information... Sure, I'm the CEO of a global technology corporation and pull a 7-figure salary. Fun fun fun.
Reviewed: Nov. 10, 2001
Type: HomeTech, Security
From: Privacy Technologies
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